Couples Coaching · Differentiation Model
Become close again, while staying yourself. You are still together, but something important has gone quiet. Conversations happen, but real connection does not. Many couples have been through this and found their way back to each other.
Free · 15 questions · 5 minutes
What stage are your relationships at right now?
We do not grow apart when love ends.
We grow apart when we stop choosing each other, every day.
Does this sound familiar?
You are not fighting every day. No affairs, no obvious crisis. But there is a feeling that an invisible wall has grown between you, and no one knows how to remove it.
"We are still together, but no longer really with each other. Each in our own world."
"I negotiate million-dollar deals, but I cannot agree on the simplest thing at home."
"Our conversations have come down to the dishwasher and the kids schedule."
"We still love each other. But we hurt each other when we are together."
Why this happens
Over 50% of marriages end in divorce — not because of affairs or abuse, but because partners got stuck at a stage of relationship development they should have passed through long ago.
Nobody teaches this: how to build closeness, navigate disagreements, and stay yourself while being with another person.
The Eileen Bader Differentiation Model is not about talk it out and move on. It is a structured path that restores respect, closeness, and joy in shared life.
The method
The format
About me
I am a psychologist, couples therapist, and exponential coach. At the heart of my work lies a simple truth: almost all our psychological difficulties originate in childhood, shaped by how the important adults in our lives — parents, teachers — treated us. And because these difficulties were born in relationships, it is only through relationships that they can be resolved. That is why for the past several years I have focused entirely on the theme of relationships.
In my practice I draw on the Eileen Bader Differentiation Model, which helps couples move from reactive, automatic patterns toward conscious, intentional closeness. Alongside this, I use metacognitive programming — a powerful process that allows us to step back from the noise of our own thoughts and emotions and look at our patterns with curiosity. When we learn to become observers of our inner world, we gain the freedom to choose how to respond. We stop being hostages to old stories and start deciding, for ourselves, who we want to be in our relationships.
My own life has been a journey in which I practised exactly this: stepping back, reflecting, and finding the observer position. For the last thirty years I have been living abroad. From Russia I moved first to Zimbabwe, then to the Netherlands, and now I live in Spain. Each move required me to rebuild myself, to adapt, to find solid ground. Along the way I built a family: I have three grown children, a husband, a Labrador, and four cats. I have been married twice — the first marriage lasted twelve years; the second has now lasted more than eighteen. This means I know, from the inside, both the pain of separation and the depth that grows in long-term love.
I want you to know: I came to coaching and couples therapy from a life full of change, navigating difference, and the beautiful complexity that love demands over time. When we meet, I will give you a space where you can stop, step back, and begin to see your patterns clearly. And from there — step by step — build relationships that are truly close.
Reviews
Formats
All sessions take place on Zoom. You choose a time that works for you.
Sessions take place online on Zoom · The cost of each format is discussed on the free intro call
Frequently asked
Free quiz
15 questions — find out exactly where your couple is stuck and what to do about it
The quiz is based on the Eileen Bader Differentiation Model. Answer honestly — the result will be more accurate.
Start
When you live side by side but feel like strangers, it can turn into a chasm. Or it can become a turning point toward new closeness. The first step is simply to reach out.